I finished up work today and all I wanted to do was sleep, so I went straight home.
It is now 3:30am.
I am still awake.
First of all, I got home and was texting people and checking facebook and just doing extremely important things in general, like reading up on fabulous webcomics. At some point I realized that my roomie going out of town meant she would not be here all weekend, and that my other roommate who also has vacation plans might have already left. (I am inclined to believe this theory, as she is still not home--though to be fair, I'm a little oblivious and I'm not sure if this is a usual occurrence for her. Roomie and I share a room, but Roommate and I are still getting to know each other.)
The point being, I am alone in this apartment, with no plans, and no real desire to make any.
Suddenly it's ten o'clock at night and I am UP. I'm talkin' sugar-high, spring-loaded excitement about everything. The guy I'm texting? Yes. A picture of a snail I took this morning? Yes. Marching band? HECK yes. I even wrote the guy I was texting an email about the joys of marching band, complete with youtube clips. If you think my thoughts are scattered now, go ahead and check out this excerpt:
Okay, this first one is from Blast!, a broadway show which is like combining the two loves of my life except there is no steak in there and if there were then it would definitely be the best thing in my life. Except it's not really in my life except in video, but that's not the point. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGkhiiM-KRg&feature=related
And that's the low-key beginning.
My other main offline activity involved finding a large roll of butcher paper Roomie and I purchased at Ikea, and colouring on it with chalk. I made a few doodles that I liked and began formulating plans for an epic mural of dinosaurs and awesome, but got distracted by the internet.
More specifically, the internet mentioning potato chips.
Now, with them safely stashed in my cupboard, I can move on after merely a moment's pause to appreciate the delicious taste of crispy golden Lays. Before, with no chips anywhere in the house? I was slavering over the very thought of them. I simply had to have them. I wanted their sweet flavour to crunch in my mouth, and their rough salt against my fingertips. I needed potato chips to go on.
I was determined to acquire some at all costs.
I don't have a car, but it's summer now and the nights are quite warm. After all, I reasoned to myself, it's only midnight. There's a 24hr grocery store fairly close. I have no real problems with walking alone at night, it's just that other people tend to freak about it. But my logic is perfect: if there's no one around to walk with me, then there's no one to judge or worry about it. I changed out of my work clothes (because to go out in public in the middle of the night I have to look fairly presentable, of course), found a texting buddy, and double checked the internet for hours.
You see, there are two stores almost equidistant to me, one south and one west. I know the south one is 24hr because I've had many late night trips there from my last apartment. But the internet cleverly told me there's another one a mere two or three blocks north, which is also 24hr.
Brilliant! Off I go to the north, where I encountered several problems.
One, I hadn't yet charged my phone (but that was okay, because I wasn't going to be gone long at all!). Two, it was NOT a grocery store. It was a gas station. I am momentarily stumped but decide it's still doable, because hey I can still get my coveted potato chips. As soon as I decide this is a good thing, along comes number Three, it had just closed.
Now I've been lied to twice by the internet about the same place.
I trusted you, net. I trusted you.
Not a problem! I am still set on chips and by this point, possibly dip. Onward I shall go to the south store! Except...at this point the west store is practically on the way, only one block over or so...It would only be prudent to check it out.
If you haven't guessed by now that it, too, denied me of my quest, you need to...well, get better at guessing storylines, I suppose.
But I digress. I suppose my trip was rather uneventful, as the only things that really came up was my phone battery almost dying and passing the most AMAZING donut place in the world and deciding that the best thing I could possibly do at 1 in the morning is eat those godly donuts. Of course, the donut place is marketed towards regular humans who sleep when it's dark and live during the day.
Silly donut place.
At length I arrive at the store with no critical injury. I even texted my texting buddy, "Achievement Unlocked! Arrive at the store with no critical injury." Therefore we each got a prize. I walked around the store looking for it, found several highly agreeable items, and pausing only briefly at the donut display, triumphantly decided not to by a dozen donuts to eat by myself - like a real adult might if they found themselves at a store at 1am. I promptly picked up a dozen mini chocolate cupcakes as a reward.
I found all my purchases, purchased said purchases, and placed them in an empty backpack I had brought in a rare case of thinking ahead.
The walk home was nice, as once again no one tried to rape or murder me into tiny little pieces. Except my phone battery got so low that the lights in my qwerty keyboard turned off - how was I going to text my texting buddy so he knew that I was alive and not lying in a ditch somewhere, potato chip-less?
Like a mother-lovin' ninja, that's how. I just texted him anyway, and marveled at how awesome I am. The worst it got was "I just tealized my zilper was down the whole time" which isn't that bad, considering. Although the dim screen also made my peripheral vision shrink and I got attacked by a sprinkler - which, let me tell you, is a singular experience on a warm summer night on a street with poor lighting. But I don't think the sprinkler meant to do it, as it sprung back almost as soon as it touched me and quietly whirred an apology. (Side note,
when did sprinklers become so stealthy? I remember a lot of clicking and warning noises. I think they're preparing for a revolution.)
Just before getting to my apartment I passed an older lady beating rugs on her porch. We nodded in mutual understanding of the tasks that are imperative at 2am. Arriving safe in my apartment (aside from a brief moment of apprehension upon realizing a light was on, before remembering I left it on so I wouldn't have that brief moment of apprehension) I surveyed my spoils of war.
Don't judge me.
The cream cheese is for my dill pickle chip dip that is my family tradition of awesome, and every family should adopt it because it is the secret to immortality. Even people who don't like pickles like it. That's how amazing it is.
But it was not meant to be, for tonight. I didn't even open the chips first, but I had a cupcake because when it comes to getting home without dying, I win. And then I cooked up the steaks. Yes, both of them! But one is for lunch tomorrow.
The long-winded point is, this is why I love being
an "adult". I can have steak whenever I want.
Just last week on vacation Ihad the most amazing t-bone steaks cooked on a portable grill at 3am.
Also, I can buy the most amazing crackers in the world made by Wheat Thins. And eat cupcakes. Even though I only ate one, so it was cupcake.
Okay now I ate another, so I can say I've eaten cupcakes.
So I may not have slept, and I may not have completed my chalk mural of wicked cool (YET), but all in all I say this adventure was totally worth it.
Except never believe the internet because the internet lies to you about places being 24hr.
