My New Pens

Good news, guys! I don't have carpal tunnel. I just have weird joints. Apparently normal joints in hands and fingers bend about 60 degrees, and mine bend almost 90. Hooray.

On the plus side, no surgery needed! I just need to be careful and wear wrist braces while sleeping so I don't accidentally hold them weird. On the downside, I had to go through a nerve conduction study and EMG to find this out.

If you don't know what a nerve conduction study is, roughly speaking it's where they hook you up to electricity and shock you to see what happens. Yeah, science! No but seriously, I was really nervous and I hate the thought of pain so I tried to play it cool but not sure how well I fooled them. Even after they did one arm and I knew what to expect, my lower half kept trembling like a small neurotic dog.

But the shocks weren't even the worst part. The worst part was the EMG, which boiled down to STICKING A NEEDLE IN MY ARM MUSCLES AND HAVING ME MOVE IT AROUND TO LISTEN TO IT. I'm sure that's not exactly how it works but that was how it felt (plus, I've never felt so stupid as when reading medical wikipedia entries. I thought that was the dumbed down version?)

And then instead of going back to work I went home for the day because I felt sorry for myself.

But then I got to go shopping for some weird ergonomic pens! I love pens and pencils and office supplies and after some time browsing the internet, ordered some that would hopefully prevent my hands from cramping so much.

First up, the Ring Pen, $7.89

It comes with a cap, which is pretty awesome, and is a pen with a hole in it - you put your finger through the ring, and it helps with proper grip and also doesn't need much force to keep it steady. However, it's just too tall for my tiny hands! I don't have the control I want and I can't move my grip any closer, so it's not getting much use.


Ergo-Sof PenAgain, $4.95

 This is the Ergo-Sof Pen-Again. I actually love this one! It's retractable and came with two ink refills. Instead of a ring, it's in a Y-shape with a groove down the top for comfort. It's actually very comfortable to use and I don't have to use a firm grip at all. This version is also coated with a soft silicone, making it very comfortable and helping my brain realize that it's not going to just fall out of my hands if I don't grip it tightly.



 I also bought the Twist n' Write Children's Pencil version, $6.99 for a 4-pack

 I'm not going to lie, this one is my absolute favorite! Maybe it's just my small hands, but it's the most comfortable, I get to hold it right at the tip like I want to and I just twist the tip to put it away or get more lead. It has erasers on each side of the Y and they actually work really well! No smudging and definitely no annoying streaks. And I don't need a sharpener! The only downside to this one is after a little bit of writing the tip isn't as fine as I personally like - by no means dull or unreadable, but I can't rotate it like I would with a regular pencil. If it annoys me too much I just turn it over for a minute and kind of touch up the tip.


EZgrip Pen/Tool Grip, $2.99

 For good measure, and because I'd just bought a pack of regular pencils, I got a pencil grip. Apparently the EzGrip company makes pens with this grip, but I like that I can put this grip on anything. There's a couple different ways you can hold it easily, and it has a big lip on one side - the idea is you only need to use that one finger to push. First finger...

 Thumb...

Or the knuckle of your middle finger. When I'm bored at work I color with colored pencils, and this is perfect because it slides on and off easily without falling off, and I can rotate the pencil in my hand when it starts getting dull. It's also able to be used on things like an exacto knife, so I'm really happy with it. It lives up the the claim of only needing one finger of force to keep control (even though using it that way takes a bit of getting used to) and being able to shift my grip keeps me from cramping.


All in all, it was a fun experiment and those Twist n' Write pencils are my go-to writing utensil now - I keep one in my purse and a couple at work. If you're looking for a couple interesting pens, check 'em out!

How I Made My Steampunk Outfit

Part II

So, the internet is awesome. In my last post I talked about how I turned this:

into this:

All with the help of some package instructions and the internet. Let me tell you, the internet is incredible and makes me feel unstoppable. We have the complete knowledge of generations at our fingertips and yes I use it mostly to look at fuzzy animal pictures shut up but if I WANTED I could teach myself anything. Academics, crafts, I think if I got it in my mind to build a shed or turn my apartment into a pirate ship I could, as long as I had deep pockets and a wifi connection during construction.

So the ugly white dress became an interesting green dress, but I needed more to make it wearable/awesome. I decided to do some ruching in the front, which I have never done before. But I spent a lot of time thinking about how I would do it and decided to go for it. So I got some thread, laid out the dress, went through it a few more times in my mind, punched the needle through the fabric once and then panicked and went to the internet.

But you know what? The internet told me to do exactly what I'd imagined. (High five for me!)

 Admittedly, it didn't turn out exactly how I'd imagined it in my brain, but, eh. Keep an open mind, right?

And then I knew I needed to pull up the train into a bustle. Spoiler alert, I'd never done that before either. I'd never done any of this. But the internet had.

The internet's done everything.

Again, I stared at it, pinned it, repinned it, got frustrated, and went to the internet. I found an amazing video on different types of bustles and surprise surprise, I was thinking of the fanciest kind there is.

I started by pulling up the very center of the back, since it was marked with the applique and was the longest part of the train. After that I was so nervous it would come undone I tacked each layer, strongly. I knew essentially what I was doing but I was also making the technique up as I went along... But it worked out. Then I moved to the right side, put a pin in the seam and then one in between the back and side. I ended up doing two layers, and tacking them both down at the same time. Then I did the same on the left side.

I meant to take more pictures along the way. I also meant to put in more layers. But at this point I was kind of done with this project and it may have been around 2 am the night before Comic Con. So, you get what you get. To make it up to you, here's a picture of me with Nicholas Brendon.

Why? Because I paid for him to look like my best friend, so I'm milking it. That's why.

Ah! The hat. There are a lot of tutorials online to make mini hats and top hats and all sorts of hats. I watched a few videos and looked at a few DIY's and then I grabbed an empty frozen pizza box, scissors, duct tape, and two round things to trace while I watched Arrested Development.

Because Jason Bateman, that's why.

Oh, and genius hilarity, that too.

But yeah.

 

I cut out a smaller circle for the top of the hat, a larger circle for the bottom of the hat. Then I cut a strip and taped it around the smaller circle. To be honest, I just eyeballed the whole thing and covered it with duct tape. 

 

 At one point, I realized that one side of the strip I cut for the side of the hat would have made one side taller than the other. I cut it off, but if I did this again I would probably make if skewed on purpose, because that would have been spectacular.

 

Also, I would have made it an oval because thanks to an idea pioneered by my brilliant mother, I punctured a hole in the side so I could install a clock. A clock. Inside the hat. I told you she was brilliant! The only one I could find small enough on such short notice (did I mention it was the night before?) didn't have a second hand which would have blown everyone's minds but no matter, it worked out. Thanks to a screwdriver to poke a hole, and duct tape to keep things in place. Handy-dandy.

 

Lastly, I cut off a swath of the lining from the front of the dress that I didn't need anymore and used it to cover the hat, since the duct tape didn't really match. I had some tacky glue that I adhered it with. Pro tip, start at the top of the hat and don't worry about the part where the brim meets the hat, since you can cover that with a hat band. It may have been because it was 3:30 in the morning, but I did that backwards. Also, lining is a bit thin so while it worked it would not be my future choice.

But, a couple Arrested Development episodes later, voila! I snipped off a few applique flowers from the underside of the newly formed bustle and in the morning, duct taped it to a headband. (Which I completely forgot to get until I'd finished the hat - isn't it great to procrastinate?)

All in all, I'm really rather proud of how it turned out! It was new, and exciting, and turned out great for my first time, I think. Plus, people at Comic Con were STUNNED at how much work (they thought) I put into it and took my picture often, which made me feel greatly validated for staying up almost all night!

Last life tip I'll leave you with is that not only are heels never a good choice, which I think everyone knows, but they are also never an okay choice. Not even for whatever you're thinking of, and especially not for a day of walking and never sitting down.

But it was worth it!

Dyeing a Vintage Polyester Wedding Dress

A step by step tutorial on how I made my steampunk outfit

Part I

 
Wander around the DI looking for costume inspiration. Find a ridiculous vintage wedding dress for only $15.

Amazing! You couldn't buy this much material for $15.

Spend half an hour in the dressing room imagining the possibilities.

Smile and nod at the elderly couple in line who keep gushing about how gorgeous you'll look on your wedding day. Take home to the boyfriend. Make him freak out about your dress sense and rethink his life.

Spend about a week researching how to dye polyester and how terrible it is. Colors hardly take and you need special dye, extra time, and hot hot boiling hot water. (There is no way that much fabric is fitting on any stove top). Also, when dyeing you need to agitate the fabric the entire time if you want a smooth dye, otherwise the crevices will be darker like a tie-dye.

Decide to dye it burgandy. Realize it might not take and could end up pink. Buy green and black packets.

Wet dress in an old tub in the shower. Momentarily freak out because you totally forgot to rinse out the tub and the white dress now has dirt on it. Shrug, because it's only a costume and pull out of the water.

Spend half an hour researching what ratios to use with green and black.

Shrug and dump the entire contents of both packets into the tub full of hot water from the shower. Supplement with a full pot of boiling water.

Freak out a little before putting the dress in. Imagine if it was something you actually cared about. Dump it in, and shove it under the water. Keep shoving. It's a lot of fabric.

Get excited because it's totally gonna look amazing!

Let sit for one hour as per instructions, stirring diligently the ENTIRE TIME.

Realize it's only 10 minutes later. Half an hour will be fine, right? And it can totally sit without moving for a while at a time.

15 minutes in, supplement with another pot of boiling water, just in case. Extend your mental timer to 45 minutes.

25 minutes in, realize that your rubber gloves are SO NOT WATERPROOF, and you've pretty much been soaking your hand in dye.

Spend a few minutes letting it sit, scrubbing your hands like mad.

Stir the dress with your handy-dandy stirring stick, bought expressly for this purpose! (99 cent dowel from craft store)

30 minutes in, the weight of the dress snaps your handy-dandy stirring stick.

35 minutes in, with no real way to agitate the fabric, decide it's been long enough.

Consider ghetto wrapping your hands in grocery bags to take the dress out. Attempt. Figure your hands were pretty much fine the first 20 minutes, as long as you don't dip them directly in the dye they should be fine.

Dump out tub into the bathtub. Wait for the black murk to drain. Attempt to rinse out the yards and yards of dress while keeping both your hands and the dress out of the dye water. This does not go easily.

Eventually throw on some old flats, put the dress on two hangers, and jump in the tub. Turn on the shower to rinse the dress until the water runs clear (...as near as you can tell).

Apologize to your roommate. The green will totally come out of the tub, you promise!

Hang dress to dry overnight.

Spend another 45 minutes or so scrubbing the bathtub (Comet is amazing!)

Geek out because it turned out fantastic!

Spend the night hoping the dye will take after washing. Throw in regular wash cycle with some laundry soap.

Dance around the room excitedly because it TOTALLY WORKED!

The beading ended up darkest, while the threads in the applique lightened with a bluish hue contrasting with the sage dress. Celebrate around the room some more!

Tips, In All Seriousness

• Know what kind of fabric you are dyeing. iDye was exactly what I needed, but don't mistakenly use cotton for polyester or vice versa. If you think you might have a blend, iDye makes color pairings in both cotton and polyester - mixing the two gives the best results. If you're unsure like me, there's a fabric burn test you can do.  
• I chose to only use polyester dye because I was hoping for some contrast, and while I guessed/hoped what it might look like, I had NO real idea. Keep an open mind. While researching this, the people I found most disappointed were the ones who had set ideas on the exact color or look they wanted when they weren't really sure what they were doing.
• That being said, you can do it! I'd never dyed anything before, let alone polyester which the internet agrees is difficult. Prepare ahead of time, use gloves that will not leak (ha ha) and get as much ventilation as possible. I had a killer headache the next day and I'm pretty sure it's because my bathroom didn't have enough airflow. If I were to do it again, I'd at least use an extra fan.
• Make sure the fabric AND the container you're dyeing in are clean (whoops). There are a few slight discolorations on my dress from dirt, so heads up.
• Rinse rinse rinse, and wash wash wash! I did get not all the dye out of my dress, as I found out the next time I wore it and my hands turned green (I was holding the skirt up out of the way). I don't know if it's because I hung it up to dry instead of using the dryer, or if I didn't rinse well enough, but it's going to need washing again. The good news is it didn't affect the dress, just my hands.
• Have fun, and get creative!

Sonic the Hedgehog

This never occurred to me when I was younger, but Sonic had an interesting lesson to teach.

As long as you're rich, you'll be just fine.

Think about it. You can run around with reckless abandon, and if you get stopped you just lose all of your golden rings. But you have some time to collect most of it back and get rid of whatever hurt you...

It's only when you've completely run out of money that you die.

The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

It started, like so many things, the night before. I stayed up late doing laundry and fell asleep sitting on the futon/couch (that by the way is broken...the legs are so bent it's only about 8 inches off the ground now). A while later I woke up, got the laundry, and crashed back onto the couch.
An hour later I got up to fetch a glass of water.
A couple hours later, I woke up to help J prepare for work.
An hour and a half later, I woke up at the time I normally leave for work. "No worries," I thought. "I can still make it." I was a whirlwind getting dressed, which in hindsight may be why moments later I was hugging the toilet, nauseous.

But I still had to get to work. I was opening the store, and if I open it late, I get fired - simple as that. I would still be able to make it in time (luckily, it only takes a few minutes to get the store running).

I soldiered on, got dressed and hurried to the trax station. About half a block away I saw my train pull in. "I'll never make it," I despaired. But when I realized the time, I knew I had to.

I belonged in an action movie. I ran down the block, raced across the street, ran in the path behind the train. I heard the bells sounding the closing of the doors, and as they started to slide shut at the very back of the train, I ninja'd my way in sideways and sat on a seat, proud that something had finally gone right.

Boy, was I wrong. I'd gotten on the wrong train - one that took me back the direction I'd just walked.

I jumped off at the next stop and started hurrying the last half-mile uphill, with 8 minutes left. The nausea was back, but I made it...ish. Technically the doors were open at 10:00, because that's when I walked in the doors.

To make me feel even guiltier, there was a workman waiting for me so he could fix something. And the FedEx guy was there within minutes, who'd had to come back.

But I got the store open, with no penalty so I thought, maybe now my day will go better.

But I didn't feel better. Thank goodness for my awesome boss, who personally rented a water cooler for us in the back. I got a cup and filled it with some water...and immediately dropped it, spilling  all of it on the floor and getting some on a large electrical box (I don't know what it does or what it's for other than that it is electrical and gives off a little heat).
I had to clean it up a little at a time, because I was the only one working and had to be able to see if people came in.

I was feeling so poorly, I determined that when the next person got there I should ask to go home. So I pulled up the schedule and found that there was no one coming in - until 4. This was also when my bladder decided to tell me it was full.

And that was part one. I started feeling better, so I decided to tough it out. The only other things that went wrong were things like papers stapling wrong or things that wouldn't even be noticeable otherwise.

I alternated between feeling fine and feeling sick, and ranked my morning as probably the second worst in my life. I finished my work day, had a disappointing dinner, and wanted to crawl into bed but - of course - company was coming in the morning and I had - as always - left cleaning to the last minute. So with a headache and a grumpy attitude, I cleaned the house and did the last load of laundry. I was nearly done (last load of laundry was in the dryer, living room was picked up and dusted, bedroom was done) when I came across a cake I made last week. We only ate one slice, because brilliant me forgot to follow the high altitude directions. Ever so delighted to be reminded of my failure, I tossed it in the trash.

Oh wait, no I didn't. Instead all the frosting slid off the top and landed in a giant plop on the ground. So I cleaned it up. Then stood up and realized I'd slathered a great deal onto my newly washed jeans.

I washed them off as best I could. Did the dishes. Tired, cranky, an hour past when I'd hoped to be done, I got the laundry out of the dryer and cuddled in the warmth. I flopped on the bed and let it all rest on top of me. And found my day's cherry on top - one of the towels had balled up in the corner of the fitted sheet and refused to dry.

I just pushed it to the side and cried.

Update: I did get the house clean, and I did get some sleep. To top allllll of this off, the next day I went in to work and found I'd gotten secret-shopped during the moment I'd pulled the trashcan out to the floor, just in case. Needless to say, I failed it (something about being distracted). It set in motion a whole train of unhappiness in the company. Huzzah.

But the NEXT day (today) I had the whole day off and didn't do anything. It was fantastic.

NaNoWriMo

Step 1: Remember NaNoWriMo and how you've always thought about doing it.

Step 1 1/2: Realize that for the first time you have an idea you've been kicking around.

Step 2: Think about engaging, non-commitally.

Step 3: Tell a friend. Try to get them to do it with you. Bounce ideas around. Wrinkle out some plot points and thoughts.

Step 4: Get really, really excited about the story! Timeline out some things. Imagine history of society.

Step 5: Hesitate about telling too many people for when you inevitably give up, back out, fail, or fail to start.

Step 6: Spend a few hours researching, installing, and test running no less than 5 different free writing programs.

Step 7: Become excited about this new adventure!

Step 8: Become terrified about this new adventure!

Step 9: Wonder how you will keep your life intact when you barely have a handle on it now, and what the boyfriend will think.

Step 10: Realize this is something thousands of people fail at each year! So no worries, and it's better to give up than never start.

Besides, it was National Coming Out Day when I woke up, so here goes...
Folks, I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month.

And my story...will be EPIC.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/whatisnano

Creation

Welp. My life is...good. It is, it's great. But it feels so...stagnant. I feel like I've slid back personally from where I used to be, and am currently at best treading water.

But enough about that - this blog is for hilarity and adventures, not depressive ramblings for my own satisfaction! Besides, I have my own private livejournal for that.

Haha, I'm just kidding. Does livejournal even still exist?

Oh my stars, according to google it does.

ANYHOO. I have come up with a plan to fix this! It is a master plan, created by a genius, for that is what I am.

A CREATOR!

Okay, okay, so I've banned depressive ramblings, but not ramblings altogether. As you may have noticed. Not the point.

The point is, I have decided to get myself out of this funk by creating something everyday. Well...Actually, yes. I was going to say, I should do 7 things a week so if I miss a day...but that wouldn't be enough. It's not about producing something, but creating something. I've decided I need to create every day, because I can find myself or lose myself, whichever I want in the moment, and because it will force me to progress, if only with practice.

I haven't set any limits on this, so it might be music, a home-cooked meal, art, a short story or adding to an ongoing one, a project, SOMETHING that demands something from me. I can't merely procure food or create a clean environment. I think I need to bring something into existence. I feel like this will help me, even when I produce something terrible.

Have no fear, I'm sure there will be plenty of that. But hey, even if it's pretty bad, it's something pretty bad that I made, that wouldn't BE without me.

Maybe I just like playing god :D