I Cut All My Hair Off!

Seriously, almost all of it.

Pro:
It's totally hot.

Con:
Sunburns on the back of my neck.

Pro:
It'll never be a place I have to wear clothing over!

Con:
...that means everyone can see that it's peeling.

I HAVE ESCAPED!

I am free of a job that sucks the soul right out through my fingers and drains my lifesource to their vast storage pits in hell, and have moved on to a job with lovely people who appreciate me. And it's just a quick bike ride away, in a lovely new shopping center.

Huzzah.

That is all.

Wit and Wisdom from a History Professor

Every once in a while, my teacher made me laugh enough to write these things down in my notes, for one reason or another.

...I don't always now the reason. But still, here they are:

"Lately I've gotten into steampunk. You know who'd be great for that? Humphrey Bogart. Humphrey Bogart would be a great character for steampunk."

"My dad came home from the war, and what happened nine months later?"

(Rises slowly out of his chair and grins)

"We were all babies once. I have one in my life right now...I'm always thinking, was I like them? I guess I must have been. I prefer to think I was more like a puppy."

"No I'm not strictly Apple. My home computer is a PC. Much better gaming quality."

"Sometimes on quizzes I ask what year the Treaty of Paris of 1763 was signed, just to see how many people choose the wrong answer. I feel naughty when I do that."

Prof: "Look at pg 164, it'll be on quiz #3."

Student: "Like a map, or the text, or what?"

Prof: "...something on page 164. I'll let you know when I know. It's a very confusing page, isn't it."

"We look at people diagnosed with cancer and 5 years later, if they're still alive, they hurry up and write it down before they drop dead of cancer. And that's how we get our cancer surviving statistics."

(Studying clothing of the 20's) "Oh hey, there's a lady with an insufficiency of fabric about her."

(Studying clothing of the 1800's and corsets) "Imagine the body under this. Guys, undress her with your eyes."

(Handing out tests and fumbling with the papers) "Please don't talk while I'm doing this. I feel like I get to yell...Also when you're talking I can't grab these papers. It's your fault my fingers don't work. Don't you feel guilty now?"

"What do junkies do in their spare time? Externally, it may look like nothing, but internally they're watching home movies. Their minds create endless entertainment."

"What is wrong with this picture? Besides the nazis. I mean, what's the worst thing about them? Besides the fact that they're nazis.

...Their fashion sense! TERRIBLE."

"Yeah, Egyptians look like Mexicans."

Student: "Can we get extra credit for writing about the food?"

Prof: "Vietnamese food is it's own reward. You don't need points."

Student1: "Will you tell us the origin of Thanksgiving?"

Student2: "Aliens"

Prof: "Haha, that's right. Actually, I know Thanksgiving came from aliens because my dad thought it was acceptable to use oyster dressing. Dressing with oysters in? You're not human if you enjoy that."

Student3: "What's wrong with oysters?"

Prof: "...Are you admitting you're an alien?"

Prof: "I've worn one kind of pants all my life. What were they?"

Student: "Leather."

Prof: "...................................I classify leather pants in the same category as rubber suits. Also, my problem with leather is it's cold."

"If you did that, back in the good old days when we knew how to handle heretics, you'd get burned at the stake."

Harry Potter

Alright, hear me out. I used to be a HUGE fan - you know, the kind that was a stickler for detail and would get upset if it was quoted incorrectly. Then HP became huge and I guess I just did the hipster thing and got bored of it...until we had tickets for the premiere.

I'd never been to a premiere before! I mean, I have, but every one I've been to has been because someone else wanted to go see Terminator: Salvation or Green Lantern and it happened to be midnight. This was my first (and hopefully not last) opportunity to dress up and be a dork with a bunch of other dorks who love being dorks.

And FABULOUS it was! First let me say, if you have never heard of A Very Potter Musical, you are missing out. Allow me to direct you to the hilarity that is Starkid:

http://www.youtube.com/user/St​arKidPotter?blend=3&ob=5#p/c/C​76BE906C9D83A3A/0/wmwM_AKeMC

It may take some time. I'll wait.

Awesome. Let me continue.

Roomie and I went as Ron and Draco from AVPM (she even had the blue headband and the sword of Godric Gryffindor). It was a blast. In A Very Potter Sequel - you can watch that one later - Draco draws Harry a picture very much like this:

"Do you see what's happening to you in it? You're getting hit by a quaffle.

Don't you feel foolish?"

And so I drew one and brought it with me. Every Potter I saw, I would run up and quote the musical at him. "Potter! Potter! Potter! Hey! Hey Potter! I drew a picture of you." Ah, I may have mostly been amusing me and myself - I mean, my friends - but I found it highly entertaining.

We entered the theatre plenty early, so I continued being ridiculous (or should I say ridikkulus!) Hahaa...

By this I mean rolling around on the ground and yelling about pigfarts.

If you skipped the movie, now would be a good time to watch this shorter clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v​=sUU9CxWUg3c&feature=related that will help you judge me just that much less.

Here comes the best part: After this, a random chick came up to me and told me how much she loved my costume ($5 at a thrift store and a bit of scissor work to make a robe, aka, not amazing) and that she had a Slytherin scarf that no one she knew would want. She offered it to me, and I found this awesome.

But do you know what's really awesome? When I got back into the light, I realized it's official Harry Potter merchandise!

Awww yeah.

And this is why my night was epicly awesome.

Pork Chops

Yes.

...Aaawkward...

So every Friday night there's a movie projected in the park. I have awesome friends that know about this, so Roomie and I met up with them and had a lovely evening. While waiting for the movie to start, I glance to my left and see - a guy I had had a few dates with and purposely hadn't contacted in almost two weeks.

This has actually never happened to me before. I am a master at connecting with people who live one to three thousand miles away from me, and it's pretty much impossible to randomly run into them. For some reason, it was the most awkward thing I'd ever experienced. What if he came over? What if he expected me to come sit by him?

(Yes, looking back it makes sense that he hadn't tried very hard to contact me during those two weeks either, but at the time I just kind of faced away from him and turned a little red.)

On the way back from getting free popcorn (I know - awesome, right?) someone in the group he was in recognized Roomie and we ended up getting dragged in. We waved and smiled at each other, but no attempt at conversation was made. Relieved, Roomie and I went back to our blanket and enjoyed the movie (aka making fun of all the characters that were stupid enough to be eaten by dinosaurs). It wasn't until after the movie that things got awkward again, as Roomie started talking to the group of people. I ended up standing by the guy.

After a few stilted minutes of small talk (how's school, how's work, how's life...that's cool...) Roomie saved me and said we should go. Except... the most movie-worthy epitome of awkward moments happened.

I said bye to the guy, he held up his hand for a wave, but I thought he was going for a high five, and then he went for a hug. It took only a second, but it was the most discombobulated moment of my life. Afterward, like the dork I am, I said we should go for the high five anyway, not thinking about the fact that my arms were full of blankets and such. For some brilliant reason I decided to use my left arm even though I am not left-handed in any way, shape, or form. I missed. On the second pass, I still kind of missed. I shifted all the blankets so I could use my right hand, and still produced a sub-par high five.

At this point I decided it was best to just walk away.

Happy 4th of July!

Sleeping in way too late

leads to

Staying up way too late

leads to

Staying up all night

leads to

Super loopy fun times when you have two parades back to back and another one later that night!

Seriously, though. It was like a dance party in my brain. Led to a dance party outside my brain. Woot!